Thursday, April 17, 2014

Progress and Fear

So.... It has been a while since I have been on here, but I am really going to try and blog more; if only for my sake. 

I have been making some progress in learning my language, but find it is really hard for me to retain all of the knowledge I gain. I worry that when I get there none of my practice will matter, and that I will forget anything. I try and speak in German with Sara and whoever I can, I try and think in German, and I try to practice but it is really, really hard to fit that in with the rest of my life. I know I need to do more, so I am really trying to work... but it is not going as fast or as well as I thought. I have heard many times that anything worth doing is worth doing well, and this is no exception. So I will have to work harder, practice more, study more, and just really put myself into it. 

I am starting to get REALLY excited for my trip; but along with that I am SO scared. I am scared that I will not be able to communicate. I am scared that I will not have any money when I get there; so event though I want to travel and have fun, I wont be able to. I am scared that they will not have all the medicine I need available in Austria. I am also worried about lots of little things to like making friends, meeting and interacting with people, making an idiot of myself... you know all of those types of things. And I am getting annoyed that I still don't know my district... But even with all of that taken into consideration, I am still so excited and set on going even though I KNOW that this is CRAZY!

Now that I listed all of those things I am worried about, let me tell you some things that I am excited about. I am excited to meet lots of new people. I am excited to try lots of new food. I am excited to be totally immersed in another culture. I am excited to learn a new language. I am excited to be independent for a while. I am EXCITED to travel and enjoy Austria and as much of Austria as I can.

I am feeling so many things about this exchange including Happy, excited, scared, anxious and as of yesterday a little bit sad. My best friend AKA "Venezuelan twin" and I were talking about when I leave and she suggested that we should go get pedicures the day before I leave. I said that would be great, and that I would probably cry; and then we BOTH started tearing up. She is excited for me, and I am excited for me but I know I will have to Skype her while I am there or I will just miss her too much. No offence if anyone is reading this; but I think I will miss her most of all.... its funny we didn't even know each other until 8th grade, but now I cannot imagine not knowing her. 


My Austrian residency paperwork is going to be up next week. It is beginning to feel real that I am going to Austria. I have started to plan what I will pack. I have decided on Austrian themed food at my open-house. I have started to look into things to do in Austria and try and read as much as I can about the country and culture in general. I am so excited to go, but I realize that this will be hard as well as fun, but I just hope that when I come back; I can say this was the best year of my life. 


(also as I was reading this, and feeling all those things the song On Top Of The World by Imagine Dragons came on my Pandora, which is a song I associate with RYE. I think this is a sign. This is going to be the best year of my life.)

                                                 On Top Of the World-- Music Video


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